i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
