He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
love makes seman taste better
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
