she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
