your room smells of hookers.
And success
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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