would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
How external is "for external use only"?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
