You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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