I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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