Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize