i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
