it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
