Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
