For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
