honey bunches of taint.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
