We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
