He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
