it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
