areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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