Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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