The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
