There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize