Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
