his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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