I bet he comes in French.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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