dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize