just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
