what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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