Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize