You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
