I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
