The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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