Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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