idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
