I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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