I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
This baby is an asshole
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
