Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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