I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
