Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
