If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
