Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
