I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
not ubering you a puppy
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
