i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
