He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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