i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
