she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize