Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
