Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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