Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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