I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
