dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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