I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
