Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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