dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
