Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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